From Chaos to Calm: Being okay even when life isn’t
In a world where we often feel overwhelmed by forces beyond our control—be it the political climate, challenging relationships, or tough decisions at work—it's easy to feel hopeless, anxious, or depressed. As a psychologist based in Calgary, Alberta, I’ve seen firsthand how these feelings can lead to a sense of chaos in our minds and hearts. But here’s the good news: we don’t have to let this chaos control us. By identifying adaptive beliefs and values, we can shift from a place of turmoil to one of calm and hope.
Adaptive Beliefs and Values
When the world feels out of control, we can often draw conclusions about ourselves rather than the situation. For example, in a harsh political climate, we might find ourselves saying: “I don’t matter” or “I’m all alone” or “I’m not safe”. If our partner decides they no longer want to be with us, we might think “I’m unworthy” or “everyone leaves me”.
It’s important to cultivate adaptive beliefs that can help us navigate this uncertainty. It’s equally important that these adaptive beliefs are accurate and reasonable. These are beliefs that allow us to focus on what we can control—our responses, our mindset, and our approach to challenges. One of the most powerful adaptive beliefs is the realization that our value doesn’t depend on external circumstances.
Instead of thinking, I’m unworthy … it’s more adaptive to believe that I have value regardless of others decisions. At first, we won’t believe these more adaptive beliefs, but with practice, your thinking can be more balanced.
Practical Tips
Here are some practical ways to embrace these adaptive beliefs:
Acknowledge What You Can Control Internally: While we can't control the actions of others, we have full control over how we react to situations and what we do. Recognize the power you have in shaping your emotional responses and actions.
Make Value-Based Choices: Identify and commit to your values, then make choices with these values in mind … even when it is hard.
Embrace Flexibility and Acceptance: By accepting uncertainty, we can cultivate peace rather than resistance. This acceptance is key to moving from chaos to calm.
Focus on Progress, Not Outcomes: Rather than fixating on the “end result”, focus on small steps towards your goals.
Reframe Negative Thinking: Instead of allowing negative thoughts about the future or your situation to spiral, practice reframing. For example, instead of thinking, "This is all out of my hands, I can’t handle it," try thinking, "I’m in control of my responses, and I can adapt to this challenge."
Hope in the Face of Anxiety and Depression
In a time when many in Calgary and beyond are feeling the weight of external chaos, it’s easy to fall into a cycle of anxiety and depression. These emotions can feel like an ever-tightening grip, especially when we believe that we are powerless.
But by shifting our focus towards values and beliefs that are within our control, we can create a sense of hope. Hope isn’t just wishful thinking—it’s the belief that, even in the darkest moments, we have the ability to move forward and create positive change in our own lives. Within hope, there are micro-actions that are within each of us.
One key to maintaining hope is understanding that we are not alone. If you are feeling overwhelmed by anxiety or depression, reaching out for support is a powerful act of self-care. Whether it’s through therapy, connecting with loved ones, or simply taking time to breathe and relax, taking proactive steps can help you reclaim a sense of control and calm.
Conclusion: Reclaiming Calm Amidst Chaos
As a Calgary and Alberta therapist, I see that it’s easy to get swept up in the chaotic currents of life. But as we navigate uncertain times, remember that we are not powerless. By focusing on adaptive beliefs and staying true to our core values, we can shift our mindset from chaos to calm, from hopelessness to hope. In the face of things we can’t control, the one thing we can always rely on is our ability to choose how we respond.
Contact me today to learn more about how you can shift your mindset and cope with the things you can’t control. Let’s work together to transform chaos into calm.